Phase

 Is this how growing up feels like?

When my doll is being hid somewhere under the pillow,  I had to understand that my brother had only joking with me.

When KFC wasn’t served as dinner although they promised, I had to understand we could eat it another day.

When all I wore everyday had belonged to my brothers, I had to understand that we should only wear our best clothes when going out.

When I lost my money at school, I had to understand that I did not keep it safely.

When they told me I have to be skinnier, I had to understand that people will love you first based on your appearance.

When I was told that he wanted to break up with me, I had to understand that I could not let people stay if they wanted to leave.

When they threw me away from the circle, I had to face that I have to be strong for myself.

When I realized the saving wasn’t enough for tuition fees, I had to face that I have to look for a job.

When they told me they could not pay for college, I had to face that I should only looking for scholarships.

When I got that big announcement, I learnt to understand that manners are more important than intelligence.

When they pushed us to reach some goals, I learnt to understand that they believed us that we could do better

When I had to survive alone in abroad, I learnt to understand that happiness is wealth beyond measurement.

When I enjoyed doing both work and study, I learnt about appreciation - not everyone could do well on both.

When I achieved two lifetime goals, I learnt about gratitude - all I should do next was believe more in myself.

When I got the chance to lead and do something for the team, I learnt about recognition - trust and dependable are only for honest and genuine person.

When they told me to speed up and fill the expectation, I had to face that people only care about your results - not knowing you worked under pressure in helpless situation.

When I got to pay more and work more for the home, I had to face that these things are coming faster than ever - ready or not, this will be your routine.

When things started going messy and uncontrollaby, I had to face the fact that they also affect my condition - costed some energy and sanity.

When she said what I had worked did not fill her expectations, I know all things that I have tried were never enough although they were my best.

When they were not gonna help at all, I know in the path I have chosen will always be alone.

When he caressed and her reaction was smiling, I know I was always just a toy all along for their good reputation.

Growing up, what are we going to learn next?

Bullying someone - are we going to think that we are a powerful person?

Take someone for granted - are we going to think that our lives matter the most?

Sending people threats - are we going to think it was only for a joke?

Killing someone - are we going to think it was the way to express our feelings?

Growing up, we are forced to adapt with new things

Growing up, we are forced to care about ourselves the most

Growing up, we are forced to lost our sense of humanity day by day

Things that scaring me outta hell, and I don't feel I wanna grow up anymore.