It Stays There
Days by days, I don't feel any better. Feeling stable or numb, is just as thin as a paper. Not any day I would think I am going to be the best, even the day has just started. It creeps me to relive some moments. But easier to live it now as I could just chug the meds and not worry about it anymore; it would be a comma, at least. Always feels like a burden, seems like everything is your fault. It does not get any better. Now I can't recall memories I considered happy times. Did not put your 100% at work? my fault. It IS my fault, though. Not sharing what I actually feel and getting posts like this on my Blog? my fault. Sharing what I feel; could not control my emotions? my fault. Do not know when the thesis defense's schedule due? my fault. Being sick? my fault. Being powerless? my fault. Being dead would be my fault too, at least I would not be there to hear it anymore.