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 Is this how growing up feels like? When my doll is being hid somewhere under the pillow,  I had to understand that my brother had only joking with me. When KFC wasn’t served as dinner although they promised, I had to understand we could eat it another day. When all I wore everyday had belonged to my brothers, I had to understand that we should only wear our best clothes when going out. When I lost my money at school, I had to understand that I did not keep it safely. When they told me I have to be skinnier, I had to understand that people will love you first based on your appearance. When I was told that he wanted to break up with me, I had to understand that I could not let people stay if they wanted to leave. When they threw me away from the circle, I had to face that I have to be strong for myself. When I realized the saving wasn’t enough for tuition fees, I had to face that I have to look for a job. When they told me they could not pay for college, I had to face that I sh...

May, 2017 It was my last fight. I had built my Curriculum Vitae and it was ready to be sent. Every step that I took, I was ready to be rejected. But, I was the luckiest bitch alive that day. Something that changes my life forever. I stepped in with my whole heart, Filled with gratitude and proud, as I stated in my previous post - eyes only on the prize. Changed everything about myself, that I could do. Learnt how to build convo with others, took care of my body. It was really long time to finally accept my look, my physical body. I tried to forget my past memories, and tried to be someone new. Hospitality, tourism, hotelier. Not a single glinch in my life that I could get into this world. It was all about IT, I was going to dive deep down for programming and UI/UX, and I also wanted to learn about game developing. However, this is not something that I don't like. I could cope up with this, I adapt easily. I applied for Marketing student - I knew it was a win-win solution, I could l...

Yay, I finally could be a worthful person What is happening? I got something, I just achieve something First person, it is me I am going to make it happen Setting goal, all I focus on I knew this could take me somewhere Eyes on the prize, could not look anywhere I went somewhere I had dreamt Lived between peaceful, seas skies hills I, be myself, stronger day by day Happiness merely all the place  I wasn't lonely, I had myself, I had me Went well, where all I wanna be I'm here, hello again little world Got everything right on the track I wasn't struggling, wasn't I? Had to go into another cage I did some work, a distraction Keeping up, still had myself I do something else, good thing Apparently, it was fine for me I trusted too much, wrong decision Logic helps, only cried a bit I can't stop thinking about it, it's painful Became something that traumatize me I look for another way, trying to let go Did very well, like a kid running I breathe, starting to feel some...